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Imperfect


A Whisper from my soul
All things that humans do are all charged to their faults. God made our mind to control anything and made our heart to balance everything. But what really lies from that existence depends on one's self. What you do in your life depends on your strength and courage. One beginning, different plot, one end; that's the real story of life.

Musings
» Musing: Lost Umbrella
» Musing: To the August That Changed Me
» Musing: In Time
» Short Story: Where the Light Finds Us
» Short Story: Monsoon Season and the Unwritten Chap...
» Musing: I Told Sunset About You
» Musing: Voice Memo #7
» Musing: Confessions in the Hazy Shadow
» Musing: +1
» Musing: For the Child That I Was


My life's story
» July 2006
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» December 2006
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» July 2007
» February 2008
» May 2008
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» April 2011
» May 2011
» August 2011
» September 2015
» November 2015
» December 2016
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» February 2024
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Current Posts



My scribblings

» One Shot Library » Series Library
  • Minsan Isang Araw
  • Winter Requiem: Midgard's War
  • Winter Requiem II: Memoirs of the Ancient Midgard
  • Winter Requiem Side Story: The Lost Civilization
  • Children of the Cross
  • In Another Lifetime
  • The Day the Phoenix Cried
  • When the Autumn Leaves Fall


Musing: The Distant Part of the Sky
Saturday, September 19, 2015 7:38:00 AM

Do you know that feeling after working out for a long period of time? The excruciating pain in your body, making it almost impossible to stand up due to exhaustion? Well, that's exactly how I would describe my life.

It feels like I've been working out for years, facing an overwhelming number of problems that have come my way. The thought of giving up has even crossed my mind. I just wanted it all to end, to escape from everything. It's not easy to have the weight of the world on your shoulders or the feeling that all eyes are on you. The fear of disappointing and frustrating the people you love with a single mistake.

I live on the 11th floor of a condominium near Taft, and sometimes I think about jumping out the window, hoping to escape from all the hardships and relieve the heavy burden in my chest.

Yes, I have suffered from depression over the past few years, and it's far from being easy. Every time I go to sleep, I pray that I won't wake up because if I do, the depression worsens. I would wander aimlessly throughout the day, struggling to get up, struggling to eat. I had my family, but they didn't know I was suffering from depression at that time. Even my closest friends and my girlfriend had no idea. I was all alone. There were moments when tears would suddenly fall, a result of hopelessness.

Those were perhaps the darkest moments of my life. But just like in a workout, your body hurts in the beginning because it's not accustomed to it. However, the more you work out, the more your body adapts, and the pain you felt before gradually fades away because your body has become accustomed to it. And that's where I am right now.

You could call it a miracle, but I somehow found the will to keep living despite the depression. I realized that I have so much to do. I want to travel and explore the world. I want to witness my beloved little sister grow up and graduate from college. I want my mom and dad to see me achieve great things and be proud of me. I don't know what happened, but one day I woke up and realized that my only enemy in life was myself. I had to outsmart myself, and so I did. There are still moments of sadness, but it only goes as far as that. The will to continue always prevails.

There's so much more I want to do, and I can only achieve all of it by overcoming the challenges that life throws my way. I've come a long way. I can slowly see in the distant part of the sky the light that will guide me throughout this journey.

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Journal: Back from the Dead
Thursday, September 17, 2015 6:03:00 AM
So it's been four years since nag-post ako ng blog entry ko. Haha! Four years. Madami nagbago sa loob sa loob ng mga panahong 'yon..

So let me give you an overview of some of the things that changed over the span of four years.

1. I graduated from college with flying colors. Just kidding (with the flying with colors part. Hahaha!). But yes, I finally finished the grueling college life. Graduated with a bachelor's degree in Information Technology. But my passion is really in multimedia arts so I took a short course for Visual Graphics Design last summer.

2. Last year, I discovered that I have a condition in the eye called keratoconus. It is a degenerative disorder of the eye in which structural changes within the cornea cause it to thin and change to a more conical shape than the more normal gradual curve. (Thank you wiki for the info). Nalaman ko din na dahil dahil sa condition na 'yon kaya pala simula bata ako ay naka eyeglasses na. Also exactly over a year ago, my right eye had undergone a procedure called Corneal collagen cross-linking at St. Lukes Medical Center in BGC to slow down and hopefully stop the cornea from changing.

3. Found work and so far I'm loving it. Yup, may trabaho na ako. Hahaha. Okay naman ang environment. The team I belong with is so accommodating so hindi ganoon kahirap mag-adjust.

4. And lastly, I'm single for the first time in seven years. Yes! You heard it right. I'm S-I-N-G-L-E. My seven-year relationship with my "xo" has ended. Ikuwento ko na lang next time kung anong mga nanyari. :P

So that's it. Susubukan kong maging active ulit and update this blog from time to time. ;)

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