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Imperfect


A Whisper from my soul
All things that humans do are all charged to their faults. God made our mind to control anything and made our heart to balance everything. But what really lies from that existence depends on one's self. What you do in your life depends on your strength and courage. One beginning, different plot, one end; that's the real story of life.

Musings
» Musing: Lost Umbrella
» Musing: To the August That Changed Me
» Musing: In Time
» Short Story: Where the Light Finds Us
» Short Story: Monsoon Season and the Unwritten Chap...
» Musing: I Told Sunset About You
» Musing: Voice Memo #7
» Musing: Confessions in the Hazy Shadow
» Musing: +1
» Musing: For the Child That I Was


My life's story
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Current Posts



My scribblings

» One Shot Library » Series Library
  • Minsan Isang Araw
  • Winter Requiem: Midgard's War
  • Winter Requiem II: Memoirs of the Ancient Midgard
  • Winter Requiem Side Story: The Lost Civilization
  • Children of the Cross
  • In Another Lifetime
  • The Day the Phoenix Cried
  • When the Autumn Leaves Fall


Journal: On the Darkest Nights, the Stars Shine Brightest
Tuesday, June 27, 2023 4:53:00 PM
San Felipe, Zambales
Have you ever felt extremely lonely, even though you don't know why? It's like being trapped in a strong feeling of being alone, and it's confusing because you can't figure out why you're feeling this haunting feeling.

In the midst of a bustling world, teeming with people, connections, and interactions, there are moments when the specter of loneliness descends unannounced. It casts its shadow over my soul, leaving me to navigate through its winding corridors, searching for a semblance of understanding amidst the mystery. It's as if an invisible veil separates me from the fabric of human connection, rendering me a solitary figure amidst the crowd.

Loneliness has a way of reaching deep into the core of my being, stirring something within me that ignites a powerful motivation. It's in those moments of solitude that I realize the importance of human connection and the profound impact it has on my life.

When I find myself yearning for companionship, it becomes a driving force that pushes me to seek meaningful connections. Loneliness acts as a catalyst, propelling me out of my comfort zone and encouraging me to engage with others. It reminds me that I am a social being, craving interaction, understanding, and shared experiences.

Loneliness fuels my desire to build relationships, pushing me to step outside my own limitations and reach out to others. It reminds me that life is meant to be shared and that the richness of experiences is amplified when they are shared with others.

Loneliness, although initially disheartening, becomes a catalyst for personal growth and self-discovery. It reminds me of my innate need for connection, driving me to actively seek companionship and forge relationships that bring fulfillment to my life.

So, as I navigate moments of solitude and feel the ache of loneliness, I choose to harness its power. I allow it to motivate me, propelling me to reach out, explore, and connect with others. Through the recognition of my own yearning for companionship, I am inspired to embrace the beauty of human connection and create a life that is rich with meaningful relationships.

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Journal: The Longest Night
Friday, June 23, 2023 2:40:00 AM
Tonight, I embarked on a journey that felt like it would never end. The purpose of my travel was to attend my beloved grandmother's wake, a somber occasion that filled my heart with a mixture of grief and nostalgia. Little did I know that this journey would not only test my patience but also provide me with a unique perspective on life.

As the sun set and darkness enveloped the world, I made my way through the winding roads and dimly lit streets. The night air was cool and carried a sense of solemnity, matching the emotions that weighed heavily upon me. Time seemed to stretch endlessly, as if the universe was conspiring to prolong this already arduous trip.

As I drove through the night, I couldn't help but feel a sense of isolation. The familiar landmarks and bustling city lights that usually accompany my travels were replaced by a quiet, eerie stillness. It was as if the world had paused to acknowledge the significance of this journey.

The hours ticked by, and my tired eyes were met with the occasional headlights of passing vehicles, offering temporary moments of companionship. Thoughts of my grandmother flooded my mind, memories of her warmth, wisdom, and unconditional love. It was her presence that pushed me forward, despite the weariness that threatened to consume me.

With every passing mile, I found solace in the darkness. It became a metaphorical cloak, shielding me from the distractions of everyday life and allowing me to reflect on the profound impact my grandmother had on my existence. It was during this late-night journey that I realized the true value of family, love, and the fleeting nature of time.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I arrived at my destination, Zambales. The sight of my family gathered together, sharing stories and tears, offered a bittersweet comfort. The long and tiresome travel suddenly seemed insignificant in the presence of the love and support that surrounded me.

As I paid my respects to my grandmother, the weariness of the journey faded away. I felt a renewed sense of purpose, a reminder to cherish the moments we have with our loved ones, for they can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. The long, challenging night travel served as a poignant reminder of the transient nature of life and the importance of treasuring those we hold dear.

In the end, the seemingly never-ending journey to my grandmother's wake taught me a valuable lesson. It taught me that the length of a physical journey pales in comparison to the emotional journey we undertake when faced with loss and grief. It reminded me of the profound impact our loved ones have on our lives and the importance of honoring their memory.

As I make my way back home, the night sky still blankets the world, but now it feels different. It no longer holds a sense of isolation, but rather a reminder of the shared experiences and cherished memories that connect us all. Tonight's journey, though challenging, has left an indelible mark on my heart, a testament to the power of love, loss, and the strength we find within ourselves when faced with adversity.

PS. Originally posted last June 23, 2012

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Journal: Of Rains and Rainbows
Sunday, June 04, 2023 1:13:00 AM
A lot has changed in me over the course of a few years. It wasn't the kind of change that was self-destructive. Instead, I changed in a way that allowed me to truly discover who I am. I changed for the better. I gained a deeper understanding of myself and learned things I never thought I was capable of doing. But most importantly, I conquered my fear by stepping out of my comfort zone.

I experienced two breakups since I last posted here, and they turned out to be transformative experiences. They made me stronger and helped me emerge as a better person. I didn't see them as a waste of time or energy. Instead, I viewed them as valuable learning processes. It took some time for me to fully grasp these lessons, but the journey was worthwhile.

After going through those breakups, I embarked on a journey of self-realization and personal growth. The pain and heartache that accompanied those experiences served as catalysts for introspection. I began to question my own beliefs, desires, and aspirations. Through this process, I discovered parts of myself that I had long neglected or overlooked.

In the midst of my healing, I learned to embrace solitude and appreciate my own company. I realized that being alone doesn't necessarily equate to loneliness. It became a time for self-reflection, self-care, and self-discovery. I delved into activities that brought me joy, pursued hobbies that sparked my interest, and dedicated time to nurturing my passions.

During this period, I encountered moments of doubt and sadness, much like the rains that sometimes pour heavily. But I also came to understand that rain brings growth and renewal. It waters the seeds of resilience within us, allowing us to bloom and thrive.

In time, the storms within me subsided, and I began to see the emergence of rainbows. These rainbows symbolized hope, beauty, and the promise of brighter days ahead. I embraced the lessons I learned from my past relationships and channeled them into becoming a better person.

I became more compassionate, not only towards others but also towards myself. I learned to set healthy boundaries, prioritize my well-being, and practice self-love. I recognized that my worth and happiness should not be dependent on external factors, but rather stem from a deep-rooted sense of self.

Through self-realization, I understood that embracing change and embracing myself were intertwined. I began to embrace my strengths and weaknesses, accepting that they make me uniquely human. I let go of perfectionism and embraced the journey of self-improvement, acknowledging that growth is a lifelong process.

As I emerged from the shadows of my past, I carried with me the vibrant colors of the rainbow. Each hue represented a different aspect of my newfound self. The red symbolized passion and determination, the orange embodied creativity and enthusiasm, the yellow radiated optimism and joy, the green represented growth and balance, the blue conveyed tranquility and inner peace, and the violet embraced spirituality and self-reflection.

In the end, the breakups were not the end of my story but rather the beginning of a new chapter in my life. They served as catalysts for self-realization and transformation, allowing me to emerge as a stronger, wiser, and more authentic version of myself. With each passing storm, I now welcome the opportunity for growth and the chance to witness the beauty of rainbows in my life.

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